My life as a fish tank

Few people know this about me, but I think in prose. The thoughts in my head are (complete and punctuated) sentences that get me from one place to another. I come up with some really good stuff in there. Unfortunately, its usually gone before I have the chance to put it to any use, and I can never seem to state things in quite the same (awesome) way as before.

This morning I had one of those moments. I've been reading a lot of blogs recently, which lead me to think (even more) in sentences. Even to use clever sentences. (Some people are so clever and their words sound so cool and then my brain decides to try to be more like them). But this is besides the point.

This morning after I got up, I came (like a loyal caretaker) to feed my fish. My fish are very skittish and don't seem to like people (I don't know why). They look at me like they long to be fed, but proceed to swim frantically when I come near enough to actually feed them. If I stay after feeding them to watch them eat their (flaky) meal, they (again) swim frantically and attack the food in the most funny way (which leads me to watch more). It is quite amusing, especially at a time of morning when most college students don't think of getting out of bed. (I'm trying to get on a better sleep schedule, I'll let you know how it goes)

This morning my brain is in a profound place. I was reading this blog talking about finding purpose in the dark, and the thoughts followed me to my fish tank. As I sat watching my fish in their IreallywanttoeatbutifIdoitfastnoonewillseeme routine, I thought to them, "Silly fish, don't you know your purpose in life is to be watched?" Bam.

Profound. Sudden. It hit me -- who says my purpose in life isn't to be watched? Or something equally unimpressive? Sure, there may be more to it (I hope), but what if at this point (or certain points) I am merely called to be an example? What's wrong with that? Maybe life isn't allaboutme after all. Who knew?

Our God is an awesome God, who works in mysterious ways. The older I get, the more this is evident to me. Who am I to critique what is happening in my life? God brings me to things (like my fish tank) in order to shape me, help me grow, or maybe even for someone else's benefit. As long as I trust Him, my purpose will be fulfilled. It's when I try to fulfill my purpose on my own that things get really wacky.

Hmm. Yeah, I'll try to get to work on that..